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I wanted to know how to start wanting sex more. Where to begin. The essential first step to wanting sex more. You need a break from sex. Wait a minute. I thought you were going to help me want it more. Well, in fact, it actually makes a lot of sense. And here is why. Number one, you need space to want it. I want you to think of your favorite cereal. I like rice krispies with almond milk and a little bit of Maple Syrup.
I digress. I mean nothing. Then you leave for work, can you come home. And this goes on for weeks and maybe even years in your life. And suddenly the cereal that you love the most, now you hate it. You cannot stand it and you want nothing to do with it. Like slapping your butt in the kitchen or calling you sexy or even little lingerie that they bought you. You need space to want more sex. Your desire is something that needs an opportunity to cultivate.
I prescribe three weeks of no sex for anyone who comes into my sphere. And what I have found this to be is just profound; profound beyond what I originally thought it was good for. We have to get these ladies a break. Another deeper, really important level. And that is you need to find your voice. You might be able to relate to not having your voice when it comes to initiating or responding to initiation.
It feels kind of icky and gross. I think three weeks is a really good period of time. You get to decide what your period of time is. This is an opportunity for you to create some safety for yourself. Safety is an essential ingredient for pleasure and desire. So you need to have space in order to create that opportunity for you to want it. And then you need to be able to find your voice and actually be able to create boundaries. This is really hard for a lot of women to do.
Am I right? I feel so guilty. Am I broken? Maybe tonight will be the night. You need a break from that as well. I need a break from sex. This is really important for the long term health of our relationship. And he might have a meltdown. This is not a selfish thing. This is not counter to any unity building in your marriage. In fact, boundaries create more unity and you deserve to take that load off. You totally deserve it. Maybe you want it occasionally.